archive of thoughts and brain farts you have the right to be wrong spending less than a dollar on a gift shows real love in this economy when going insane, i always make sure to bring something back with me being around shit people gives you mood poisoning when animals shit while winning a fight--total power move if you walk fast enough, no one will notice you good crimes exist dogs don't get tired of barking but a tired dog may bark less negative thoughts weigh a lot even satan came from a good place McDonald's is important for human morale babies don't eat veggies, they eat planes actually, perfect practice makes perfect sitting at a cafe with someone is cheaper than therapy (unless it's in LA) being out of character means you're being more than your name beware of those who choke their burritos while they eat it junk food ain't junk food when eaten with friends we learned to adult by playing pretend as kids gamify taking photos of each other buying books makes you richer some lies are good to believe going against the grain is really painful babies are hard opening a door for someone is the least you could do lawyers and doctors die with your secrets you always look like shit when you bump into someone if all you do is watch tv, that's what you'll see when your life flashes by paving a road allows someone else an easier path forward youth never gets old hurrying slows you down it's good to fear the right things wear and tear is charming to look at we're always making culture up everything you read has a voice the older we get, the more we like rules shortcuts be backfiring rocky roads lead to nice places bc no one will walk them irony is avoiding doctors by avoiding death man turns into a helpless baby in space, hence the baby food writing a to-do list relieves stress as much as actually completing it if we stop having kids, girl scout cookies will go extinct only monsters hate barbecue and cheese we like music and stories because they start and end forgetting your phone makes things interesting big goals take baby steps before or after BC? Because “Before Covid” felt like ages ago. you're an ass to yourself when you aren't assertive stats show we spend 5 months of our lives waiting at a red light we don't look up enough at work, looking at the time is how we give ourselves a treat bad news is scarier than any scary movie rebelling is putting more water in the kettle then the label says the more money you make, the further you push your neighbor away almond is 5,000 years old. it has seen it all we open twitter like we open our fridge smart people treat google like a 5-year old (or a golden retriever)
